The gubernatorial seat vacates. I suppose it's time to retire my Ah-nuld.

You know, my Arnold voice. Perhaps it's due. I occasionally call my wife, Maria. When at loss of words, I utter Schwarzeneggerian one-liners. I adopt his emphatic "Fahn-TAS-tic!" I've considered--God help me--buying a Hummer.

However. My father-in-law's German Shepherd, Sherman does sound eerily similar to Arnold. You know, his voice that I voice, 'cause the animals--God bless 'em--can't speak for themselves. Somebody has to do it. My phlegmatic cat, for example is the vocal love child of Coffee Lady and Alf (the titular muppet from the inane 80s sitcom).

While Arnold (and his voice) retire to the Hollywood hills, Sherman is still in good health and the voice must live. He'll continue to beg for "Hahm-buh-GERS" to be mixed with his kibble. His owner obliges--I don't know why. See, Sherman is about the size of that shark in Jaws and has a disposition to match. I suggested recruiting him to law enforcement, but the cops were scared of him. Plus, he'd always eat their hamburgers.

Arnold: God only knows what I'd be without you.